Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Aggresive Passivity

High school graduation four years ago...when it was easy to say what I'd be doing the next fall.

I'm starting my last semester as an undergraduate student. As much as I am looking forward to graduation in May, it's feelin' a little strange. Every year since I started kindergarten, I've known roughly what my schedule would be like for the next year -- school and more school. But now, for the first time, my life is a great, wide open field, a black abyss of endless possibilities, a road with no end, a -- whatever you call it, romanticized or not, it has no direction. As cool as it might seem to have endless possibilities, it is seriously a little daunting. When people ask what I want to do after graduation, I tell them I have no idea because seriously, I have no idea.

All in all though, I'm pretty satisfied with that answer because really, when have I ever known what I was doing? Hardly ever. Quite honestly, most of my life has been a long line of procrastination, counting on things falling into place, pretending like I know what I'm doing, or just plain not worrying about it. I'd say nine times out of ten that's worked pretty well.

God grant me a direction and I'll take it. But until then, I'll just keep doing what I've been doing -- living my life with eyes wide open and working for luck to fall into my lap. I'll call it...aggresively passive. And maybe, four months from now I'll re-create the picture above and be able to tell you what I'm doing next fall. Until then, I'll just enjoy the journey.


No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...