|High school graduation four years ago...when it was easy to say what I'd be doing the next fall.|
I'm starting my last semester as an undergraduate student. As much as I am looking forward to graduation in May, it's feelin' a little strange. Every year since I started kindergarten, I've known roughly what my schedule would be like for the next year -- school and more school. But now, for the first time, my life is a great, wide open field, a black abyss of endless possibilities, a road with no end, a -- whatever you call it, romanticized or not, it has no direction. As cool as it might seem to have endless possibilities, it is seriously a little daunting. When people ask what I want to do after graduation, I tell them I have no idea because seriously, I have no idea.
All in all though, I'm pretty satisfied with that answer because really, when have I ever known what I was doing? Hardly ever. Quite honestly, most of my life has been a long line of procrastination, counting on things falling into place, pretending like I know what I'm doing, or just plain not worrying about it. I'd say nine times out of ten that's worked pretty well.
God grant me a direction and I'll take it. But until then, I'll just keep doing what I've been doing -- living my life with eyes wide open and working for luck to fall into my lap. I'll call it...aggresively passive. And maybe, four months from now I'll re-create the picture above and be able to tell you what I'm doing next fall. Until then, I'll just enjoy the journey.