My friend the clairvoyant

I wrote a story for the October N-town about the spooky and bizarre in Norman. I interviewed an "intuitive" or a "clairvoyant" for the piece, Lauren Kelly. She offered to read my "chakra," so I figured why not? It was definitely interesting to hear what she had to say...the very rough manuscript is below, for anybody who wants to read:

"I'm seeing a lot of green over here. I'm seeing some white — I don't know, are you an empath, by any chance? Do you know what it means to have an empathic ability? I'm seeing a huge ? chakra with you, and its showing itself in pink instead of green. Normally when I see that that's the type of person who can step into a room and without talking to anybody know what the general feeling is in there or you can walk out the door in the morning and go 'man, today's a great day' but you bump into somebody on the street and suddenly you're in a funk. That's because whenever I see someone who is empathic, I feel like they're so sensitive — and not in a bad way — but just sensitive to what's going on around them that they just know intuitively and sometimes they go, oh that's not right, and a lot of times young empaths will end up with depression or be in an abusive relationship because they go I'm not worthy, I just want to make sure everyone else is fine so I'll be fine.

But there's a lot of green energy on this side, and since that's you're right side I'm going to say you put out a lot of healing and teaching energy but you really work with the understanding which is funny to me since you're a reporter so I guess you kind of knew that yourself. There's something that's healing and refreshing about your approach to life both in your profession and on an individual level. People can feel and learn things from just being around you.

There's a lot of white over here, and what that's going to suggest to me, I don't know if you personally have religion or anything but you need to know that this white energy is really divine stuff and since its on your left side it means you're taking it in and you're taking in some divine guidance, you're really on a spirit-filled path. The white energy for Christians is symbolic of that Christ energy. And I've channeled Jesus Christ before, he is like the most compassionate, awesome — he will give you a hug if you need it, like you'll actually feel it. I see a  — of course I do, you're a reporter — I see a little blue over here, and its a light blue, not a dark blue, so it's Gabriel and I see him putting his hand on the back of your neck and when I see that that means that figure is guiding you in your work. And when I say work I mean life work. Like what you do in all facets of your life. Gabriel is the archangel of the arts, of communication and also travel. Like if you really need a space on the interstate when you're pulling out just pray to Gabriel "Don't fail me now!" and he will create spaces, I'm not even kidding, I use that every time because I hate the interstate so much.

I'm seeing some yellow around your feet. And because I see that, what I'm going to say is that you either work with becoming fearless or you are fearless in your direction. Whenever you act, whenever you step forward you are doing it in a logical sense and you are doing it without fear. You walk a path that you are confident in, that you know is yours. Your crown chakra is fabulous — it's really huge. Your third eye, it's showing me it being small and expanding, so I'm going to say within the next six months or so you will feel this kind of — whether you use it or not in your profession I feel like you are inherently an intuitive person because you've got so much energy going on up here and this one is going "Alright, I'm ready!" because this is where you process all of that, so it's like "Let's do this!" 

Your ? chakra is huge, and the ? chakra is where you process information visceral and intellectually, you combine the two. Your ? chakra feels just a little bit low, so if you get the chance not for work or anything or because anybody tells you to but I would recommend that you maybe consider going to an art museum or going to a concert or kicking back with your favorite movie, just for you. Your root chakra, I don't know whether it's sleep or whether it's, I feel it's mainly something around sleep. I could be wrong but your root chakra feels a little bit low. It's not unhealthy you're not going to drop dead in the next five minutes but it feels like it could be a lot better. So allow yourself to sleep without lights, without lights or noise, because that's something that can affect your serotonin. I mean, good food, but I don't feel like you do badly with that but you could do better. Sleep maybe, but just quality rest. If you're like go, go, go, go, go, it would be good to give yourself one day a week for like a hot bath. You can get yourself a single rose from 7-Eleven for like a dollar, use those rose petals for a bath. It's really good and so refreshing and it feels great. Little things like that can help the lower chakra really feel good. So that's what I'd recommend for you."

Always,