Monday, November 8, 2010

Phases

"Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work." -- Author Unknown


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Today marks one year since Nathaniel proposed.

The photo I sent from my phone to my parents to tell them the news.
PS I know I look totally ridiculously excited.
To say the least, I was a happy girl! Nathaniel proposed at the Lubbock LDS temple. Long story short, he wrote me a love letter, folded it up into the ring box, asked me to open it and while I read, he got down on a knee with the ring in his hand. At the end of the letter he wrote the big question -- of course, you can guess what the answer was!

A year later, we've now been married for five months. I either get one of two reactions when people find out I'm a newlywed -- "oh my gosh, how exciting, congratulations!" or "is the newlywed phase over yet?" Which, to tell you the truth, always leaves me a bit puzzled. I've been married five months, not five years or five decades, and I hope after a substantial amount of time I still look at Nathaniel like he's God's gift to the world, like the sun shines out of his butt or any other long list of cliche sentimental statements.

I assure you, our marriage still takes work and is not a walking fairy tale, as I believe any healthy marriage would be. When I reflect on the beginning stages of my relationship with Nathaniel, I never remember a moment of punch drunk, puppy love type of infatuation. What I do remember, is a distinct understanding of Nathaniel's character, and a sense of admiration and respect for the person he was and the selfless kindness he demonstrated towards others. I remember thinking this is the type of man I would want to spend my life with -- the type of man I know would always be a beautiful example to both myself as well as a future family.

Nathaniel is my best friend, and I am his, which, includes all of the less than flattering flaws and details that come along with such a friendship. Ya know, leaving our shoes all over the house, stinky farts, and other nasty habits? But of course, all the wonderful things are included, such as a confidant, partner in crime, someone to lean on, biggest cheerleader and on and on.

Material things don't mean much to the two of us. We prefer to spend our money on experiences or investments for the long-run, rather than monetary tokens of affection. Nathaniel has never "swept me off my feet" by bringing me roses and chocolates and a candle-lit dinner. He has, however, laughed and cried with me, been spontaneous with me, cheered me on and corrected me when I was wrong. He's written me sweet love notes, and acted like a kid with me. He's been honest and sincere in every aspect of our relationship.

We don't have much beyond each other, and it might always be like that. I can easily and happily say I'll be grateful for a mortal life of poverty and simplicity as long as my best friend and spouse is by my side.

And so what? My hope, is between now and our deathbeds, we always feel like newlyweds -- content with the simplicity of our love and friendship despite all the ups and down of the journey we call life. I hope each day we relish in the simplicities, that yesterday is the day we always love each other the least, and of course, we find joy and adventure in each stage of life.

Here's to a lifetime of the newlywed-honeymoon phase.

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"When the roaring flames of your love have burned down to embers, may you find that you've married your best friend." -Irish saying



Always,

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