Monday, October 24, 2011

Employed aka Lucky Coin, part 2

When Nathaniel and I decided to move to Oklahoma we didn't know what we were doing. All we knew was that it felt right. After packing up a moving van with our few possessions, we hit the road with high hopes and a small savings in our bank account.

It didn't take long for us to begin the dreaded job search. Being away from our family and friends for the first time as a married couple made us nervous. We knew our savings wouldn't last forever, and we both felt a need to prove it to ourselves and others that we could "make it" -- that the feeling that had pushed us to take a chance was right.

Thankfully, Nathaniel found a job right away. But I didn't. I was left searching and questioning myself -- my goals, my talents, my abilities, my educational and professional path. I was applying and interviewing but wasn't seeing any results. There was one day where I couldn't stop crying. I felt defeated. I felt worthless.

An old drawing. It's supposed to be a self-portrait reminiscent of the Sistine Chapel's Libyan Sibyl.

Soon afterwards I started working 10 hours a week at an elementary school doing paper work. It was simple, but it instantly boosted my spirits. I felt needed. I felt helpful. My self-worth was restored as I worked and realized I had skills I could use to serve others. I stopped worrying about what others would think about me having a college degree but no solid job. I stopped fearing the ridiculous need to be perfect. Instead, I started to realize I had little control over my ability to get a job and should stop stressing about it.

And then things fell into place.

A position opened up at the local newspaper and I quickly jumped at the chance to apply. I emailed my resume and samples of my work to an email address that I'm sure turned out to be a black hole. A few days later, Nathaniel met someone who knew someone who offered to hand-deliver my resume to the editor's desk. I took him up on the offer.

A few days later I got a call from the editor of the paper requesting an interview. I interviewed. It was awesome. The editor told me they were working out the budget and would call me in a few days when they had things sorted out. A week came and went. And then two more. Still no call. I had mentally moved on.

I woke up last Wednesday to prepare for an interview. As I was getting dressed my phone rang and I let it roll over to voicemail. When I heard the recorded voice streaming from my phone, my heart both sunk and lept at the same time -- the editor had called. She wanted to apologize everything had taken so long. She wanted to know if I was still looking for a job.

And all I could think was: is this real life? Is this actually happening? Am I about to become a real-life, bonafide journalist?

The answer that came was: yes. It's happening. You're a journalist.

Here's to my lucky coin and becoming a court reporter. Wish me luck.


This is me right now...real talk:


Sherms said...

Congrats. I'm super happy for you. Everything in time. And I am a firm believer that it's not just about what you know but also who you know xx

Hannah said...

You're totally right, Shermeen! It's all about networking!

Lozzz123 said...

awesome! sometimes if it takes a while to get what you want it helps you appreciate it just that bit more :)

Hannah said...

You are so right! I love, love, love my job! The few moments I don't want to go to work, I remember how lucky I am to be able to actually have a job to go to.

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